MyDD :: Here Be McDragons!

Here Be McDragons!

by Lieber, Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 02:48:29 PM EST

The McCain Campaign, along with the RNC, hot off the heels of their "tire gage" campaign, opened a new line of attack on Democratic presumptive nominee Barack Obama, mocking him openly for Obama's suggestion that the, "Earth is round."

The campaign, which rewards contributers with an accurate FLAT representation of the Earth, as well as a bumper sticker saying "Next You're Going To Tell Us The Earth Revolves Around The Sun, Senator Obama!", will kick off tomorrow, when Senator McCain will sail to the end of the planet and throw Paris Hilton into the abyss.

"When voters see that hottie being devoured by the End Of the World Dragons," RNC Chairman Mike Duncan smiled, "THEN they'll know who is ready to be President on day one!"

The Republican Party plans to follow their "Flatten Obama" attacks with a series of ads mocking Obama for his assertion that babies are made "when the male penis ejaculates inside a woman's vagina."

Larry Craig, speaking on John McCain's behalf, chucked with amusement. "Penis and vagina! Ha-Ha! Have you ever heard anything so CRAZY! Heh-heh-heh! I mean seriously. If that were true... why would we even need the fucking stork."

Mr. Craig then excused himself and disappeared into the bathroom to make sure there weren't any stray pieces of toilet paper on the floor.

The "What about the Stork" campaign will be run along with the offshoot, "Barack Obama lies when he says you can't get pregnant by kissing in a wet bathing suit" ads, to be run on the Disney Channel, featuring the voice of Hannah Montana.

The McCain camp has been mum on how they would win future news cycles, but insiders suggest they may be working on campaigns to mock Obama for saying that "the Moon is not made of cheese", that the tooth fairy "may really be one of your parents" and that when your girlfriend tells you that was the "best sex she's EVER had" and that she has "never faked it with you"... she might just be lying.

Poll

Votes: 14
Results : Vote Link : Polls

Tags: Dragons! (all tags)

Permalink :: 16 Comments :: Post a Comment

Don't get me started... (2.00 / 4)

...on McCain's views on eating Pop Rocks.

by Lieber on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 02:49:56 PM EST

Poor Mikey (none / 0)

by JJE on Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 12:56:34 AM EST
[ Parent ]

can't wait to see the (2.00 / 3)

"What about the Stork" campaign.

"Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather Boa!" Allen Ginsberg

by canadian gal on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 03:52:15 PM EST

He's gotten like 3 million from... (2.00 / 3)

...the Stork lobby, so it should be powerful.

by Lieber on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 03:55:20 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Your girlfriend may not (2.00 / 1)

fake it with you.

But McCain is faking it with all of us...

by UrbanRedneck on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 04:39:35 PM EST

I believe my "girlfriend" faked it... (2.00 / 1)

...with him as well.

So, they're even.

by Lieber on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 05:01:10 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Here Be McDragons! (none / 0)

Every thing surrounding the Stork campaign can be
found in an expose written by political writer Anthony Pierce....

http://www.amazon.com/Stork-Naked-Xanth- Piers-Anthony/dp/0765304090

"harlequin speech of suicide, demanding instantaneous lobotomy"

by nogo postal on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 06:21:40 PM EST

That reminds me of a dirty joke... (none / 0)

...which I will not tell lest I get HR'ed.

See, I can learn stuff.

Visiting the hopium dens proudly since 2007.

by AZphilosopher on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 06:36:51 PM EST

Come on... (none / 0)

...its just you and me here.

by Lieber on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 06:39:28 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Come on... (2.00 / 1)

It's not sexist but it's gross (last chance, abandon all hope ye who read it):

D
I
R
T
Y

J
O
K
E

3
2
1

A toast:
Here's to the stork who brings the good babies.
Here's to the raven who brings the bad babies.
And here's to the swallow who brings no babies at all.

Visiting the hopium dens proudly since 2007.

by AZphilosopher on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 07:04:28 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Thank you... (none / 0)

...my afternoon is now complete.

by Lieber on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 07:31:31 PM EST
[ Parent ]

'Tis always better... (none / 0)

...to make people ask for dirty jokes than to tell it and end up with a .33.

Visiting the hopium dens proudly since 2007.

by AZphilosopher on Thu Aug 07, 2008 at 10:18:50 PM EST
[ Parent ]

Re: Come on... (none / 0)

very funny, thank you.

Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse..." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse..."